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Happy Hour 11-10-11

-An elementary school kid passes out drugs to his friends… and you were worried about stoners spiking the Halloween candy.
-Why in the hell is Elf On The Shelf even a thing still?
-Reason #582,975 not to work in fast food, and Adam’s solution to D-bag customers
-Congress wants the auto industry to install anti-drunk driving technology… isn’t that the whole damn point of self-driving cars?!
-Sean’s not down with bringing a wiretap… er, Alexa in his home. Also: download our Alexa skill!
-Another installment of “Things Americans Do That The Rest Of The World Is Wrong About”